Familiar.

 

Acquainted With the Night

I have been one acquainted with the night.

I have walked out in rain—and back in rain.

I have outwalked the furthest city light.

 

I have looked down the saddest city lane.

I have passed by the watchman on his beat

And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.

 

I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet

When far away an interrupted cry

Came over houses from another street,

 

But not to call me back or say good-bye;

And further still at an unearthly height,

One luminary clock against the sky

 

Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.

I have been one acquainted with the night.

-Robert Frost

 

Closing of the Year.

Scratch told me, “Enough with the music, write.”

Here goes.

It’s the closing of the year. The time when the garden and all its produce is put to bed for the winter. With first falling snows pushing me indoors, the house has gotten a thorough cleaning and sorting. I’ve been wrapping up old projects and beginning new ones. Taking stock. And finding myself happy and content.

This year has been a lot of work, of learning, and growing. It’s also been absolutely-a-fucking-amazing. I have met and played with some incredible individuals. My god am I having fun. I feel enriched by knowing all of you. Thank you, thank you.

On a different note.

Twenty years ago I started smoking cigeretts, I swore to myself years ago that 34 would be it. The dead-line. After a few false starts I picked Nov 1st. It’s been seven days since my last drag. Sucks, not bad, just find myself a little short tempered, less inclined to bottle it. I used the gum, three or four pieces a day, and this morning was my last piece. So far so good. Though it is only about eleven o’clock.

An Entry from Scratch: Plunging the Depths

(From Scratch)

I’m celebrating a year since moving from SLC to the Bay Area this week. A lot has happened throughout that period. I’ve done a lot of re-evaluating of my priorities and have discovered what’s really important to me. Of course, it’s an ongoing process, a practice really.

I’m currently working at Mr. S Leather in the production department. It pays a humble wage, but the perks are awesome: every month we get a 15-minute massage paid for by the company. I have health care (for the first time in 5 years) and I’m working with some amazing people.

Dore Alley and Folsom Street Fair came and went, and now with our busy season behind us, I’m taking advantage of the flexible work schedule and doing some “extracurriculars” with Kink.com as a model.

Yup. After having spent so many years ashamed of my sexuality, I’m proudly broadcasting it on the internet. Here’s a link to my recent shoot with TsSeduction.com:

http://www.tsseduction.com/site/shoots.jsp?c=1

To say that doing porn has been a learning experience is an understatement. Ironically, I feel that it’s the safest sex I’ve had, because of the company’s policy of condom usage, strict record keeping and transparency.

Most of my shoots have been with BoundinPublic.com, a site directed by Van Darkholme (big fan!) I’ve had a lot of fun and made some pretty good money to pad my wallet a bit.

While I don’t imagine I’ll become a star of any kind, I like the satisfaction of knowing I’m exploring myself, my sexuality, the kink community, and seeing a whole different side of filmmaking. Sure, my parents would probably die on the spot if they saw me getting plowed by an 8″-cocked trans girl, but then they don’t know the HALF of what I’ve been up to.

I feel very safe working in the Armory. In fact, it’s only because of the principles of Safe-Sane-Consensual and the explicit negotiation that I am doing porn at all. Without those cultural mores found in the kink community, this wouldn’t be possible. And without my Mistress having taught them to me, I wouldn’t be having these enlightening experiences.

There’s more to come. Hope you enjoy!

Life = Fun.

Fun For Me…

THE BASIC LAWS OF HUMAN STUPIDITY

by Carlo M. Cipolla
illustrations by James Donnelly